Snow Day

Today was a snow day and for that, I am thankful! I have a ton of homework still, because unfortunately my teachers planned on a snowday and gave me work due Monday, and lots of it. I found this very dissapointing with sub-deb being this weekend. I am very excited for subdeb. We are taking a very hot party bus and Leslie and I burnt a cd full of hot bus songs, such as "The Venga Bus" by the Venga Boys and "Back of the bus" OutKast. It should be a ghettofabulous evening. As subdeb always is. Good times of very loud rap music, pure chaos, and a steaming hot dance floor (literally).

This evening I went to a party with my mom, sister, and other teachers that she teaches with. We froze outside for the "Parade of Lights" Afterwards we went to a home for food. I had a nice time, but I always get in weird moods after talking a lot with people I do not know very well, where I worry too much. Questions like, "Did I talk to much?" or "Did I sound like an idiot when I said this..." all run through my head. I am getting better and reassuring myself I am allowed to have a good time and be real. I don't need to be so conservative that I am fake. I know everything was fine, but I am working on eliminating those questions completely.

I have been doing a lot of writing for IND Study as I may have mentioned before. I am growing excited with some of my stories that I have come up with. For the longest time I was having a terrible time creating anything original that I was passionate about. I kept complaing that all of my stories were "cheesy". ms eddy told me that I just needed to create characters that Iwas passionate about so I could have more of their background and make readers care about them too. I also was stressing about length. I would write like mad on a good idea get to like 20 pages and then be like "Where am I going with this?" Then I never touch it again. Or I would be like, "I have to make this a long story" and get stuck because I would be trying to create something that wasn't there. I am getting more and more excited about my portfolio with every meeting I have with ms. eddy. I just hope it all comes together and is something I am really proud of.

I attended a group prayer meeting today for lunch since we had the day off. I was not sure I wanted to go, but I am really glad I did. I found out a friend of mine from fifth grade and middle school, her father died last night. It is really sad, because this girl has kind of dropped out of school and been in trouble with drugs. Her father was really dissapointed by all of this and now he is gone. I heard she is experiencing a lot of guilt, because she hurt him so badly and now he is gone before she could fix it. I hope this will motivate her to change her lifestyle, because she really has a lot of potential. She has set herself back a couple of years, but I think she could use this to get her life back. I hope that this will help her see how fragile life is, instead of sending her into a deeper darkness. I can't stop worrying about her. Although I don't see her much anymore, I am hoping I can attend the service, but I know it will probably be during school. I would at least like to go to the visitation. It is just another example of making sure to live the life you want to be living, because regret is not a feeling you can get rid of or change.