Sunday Chatter

My face is windburned from the roller coasters and Lake Eerie winds yesterday. It was a rather mild day at Cedar Point, which I was thankful for. I only rode three coasters. I didn't even get to ride my favorite "The Millennium," because the line was 2 hours long. We had my cousin, Karen from Australia's children with us, so we spent a great deal of time around the kiddie rides. It was fun to see them so excited, though. Plus, it was a lot less crowded by the kiddie rides, and I'm not a fan of large crowds. It was just nice to be together. I hadn't seen my cousin, Karen and her family since I was 16 and in Vancouver. Prior to that I hadn't seen them since I went to Australia when I was seven. It is so strange, because Karen's daughter, Jemma, is seven. It's so strange to have family so far away because kids grow up without you seeing them. I remember Jemma as just a little 2-3 year old, and now she is seven with her own personality and her certain maturity to her. She is quiet and observes everything going on around her. I think she may be a bit of an old soul like many of the people I know and get along with so long. My therapist says I'm an old soul, which would explain my vivid memories of childhood and the way I never quite fit in with my peers because I was asking questions that were never answered. I was even led to believe that questioning everything is not okay. The unknown scares people. They don't need some little kid throwing it in their faces all the time.

Despite the kids growing up so fast, there is something comforting in reuniting with the Aussies. That family connection of sharing similar personality traits and being understood on a deep level, yet barely knowing each other on a shallow, everyday level. Karen was 19 when I went to Australia. I try to imagine her at the bar with friends or just doing everyday activities and it is weird to me. I do not know her or the rest of the Australian family (they couldn't afford to all come over :( in that way either. Yet, I can talk to Karen about not being an angry person, yet having that family trait of having bad tempers get the best of us sometimes. That side of the family is fiery. Laura says I'm fiery. We all also have small bladders, which is horrible for road trips--causing us to stop nearly every hour for someone. Groove Adam did not come because he wasn't sure he could be patient enough with our large family. Our family has to be possibly the worst people to travel with in the sense of efficiency. I went into it with the attitude that I didn't care what we did. I just wanted to enjoy their company, and I had a very nice time.

I was also reminded how much I love kids. I don't want to be a school teacher. I know that much, but I wouldn't mind having a job where I work with kids in some way. In fact, my therapist says my goal to be a professor is a great one. She says she can see me being a professor later in life and loving it. She said she has a harder time imagining me going straight out of school to being a professor. I think she's right. I know several young professors who have been burnt out. I wouldn't mind having a job where I don't even make much money as long as I was doing something I believed in. I wouldn't mind doing Teach America and working with inner-city kids. Who knows where I'll end up. I've decided I know where I want to go to grad school. Sarah Lawrence in New York. It's a long story on how I arrived at such a goal, but it is exciting to have a dream, and it's the kind of dream I could never have imagined for myself as a child--yet, it's everything I could want.

I started this blog with little to say. I am glad I found a lot to reflect on. It isn't quite as specific or clear-cut as I would have hoped, and there is very little wisdom in it, but I'm thankful for it anyway. It is nice to have someplace to clear my head.