What I meant by chaos

The title of my blog being"controlled chaos" here is a honest, chaotic entry. I am getting desperate since it is nearly 11 and I have a meet tomorrow. Everything is going just fine. I got payed today. Yay! Lisa Loeb concert October 11th.... I'm stoked! I conferenced in Ind. Study about my 21 page story that is still not complete. It seemed to go well. I am excited to write more about this piece. I am now going to post some random poetry. It is not quality, but it is honest writing practice I want to share with everyone. I swear I will have better posts next time. I am actually going to write down some topics to choose from instead of babbling. Oh and thanks for the support on the last post everyone. It really made my day.

I
I can't
I can't change
I can't change that
I can't change that I
I can't change that I don't
I can't change that I don't always
I can't change that I don't always follow
I can't change that I don't always follow directions.
I try to listen and not talk so much.
I try to listen and not talk so
I try to listen and not talk
I try to listen and not
I try to listen and
I try to listen
I try to
I try
I

I am running around in circles.
I don't know where the hell to go.
Do I even desire a finish line?
I just want to be free to run,
but I still need a trail to follow.

Random is scorned upon as thoughtless,

because it cannot be controlled.

I like to embrace my lack of control,

like when I sleep so peacefully

that I cannot control my dreams.

I dream of illogical things

Math is complicated

Relationships are complicated.

I. Hate. Puncutation! It? Always; screws with me:

I love writing. It always helps me sleep.