cReAtiVitY

I'm creatively frustrated. I've had bursts of creative energy throughout the past couple days; I've even jotted stuff down on a notepad with the "Lady of Guadalupe" on it. I look at the notes. They inspire me to write, but when I actually start typing it feels meaningless. The Lady of Guadalupe notebook is really cool, so that in itself motivated me to write. Also, I finished the book about the woman with Bi-polar disorder. It was the same woman who wrote, "Wasted," the book on living with an eating disorder when she was 23. It was good to see how frustrated she gets with writing. She goes weeks without writing when she gets depressed. It's been a couple weeks, and all I've written is a few journal entries and a poem. My writer's group is meeting for the first time on Sunday morning (at my house). I hope to talk about goals with them and work on fixing up my two poems.

I waste a lot of creative energy on making playlists. When I'm inspired to write, I have to have the perfect playlist first (excluding my disciplined writing time). This is only for my spontaneous attempts to write. In my writing class, my professor always said being a writer means combining creative, spontaneous inspiration with discipline and technicalities. They don't blend together very nicely most days. 

I've spent a lot of time the past couple days at the hospital with my grandma, who had her kidney removed. She is recovering nicely. I'm going back tomorrow morning. The hospital certainly evokes creative feelings. There are so many unhealthy, unhappy people, yet so much love. It's nice to witness how people bond together so selflessly in times of struggle. It made me think about human beings' benevolence as an evolutionary benefit. We touched on that a bit in my "Religion and Psych" class. I was also reflecting on how amazing it is that the doctors can cut a person open, remove an organ, and the person's body heals at tremendous speeds. The human body is amazing, along with the human mind; I'm especially grateful that we have the ability to connect and help each other because of our advanced minds. I was thinking about how miraculous it is that we can read words--just black and white symbols--and feel a specific emotion that the writer intends. We can control each other's emotions with black and white symbols. I can make people laugh, cry, or angry. I can recreate any emotion and make a reader feel actual EMPATHY, because I can describe the feeling with the countless words available as tools to me. I I love the power writing has. I'm not being proud; anyone can write (how well is another story). The pen is mightier than the sword. Write on.