New Year

I've been away for a while. It got to the point where I decided I would wait until the New Year to start blogging again. So here it is: January 1, 2011... A lot has changed since last year. A lot has changed since I last wrote--yet, in some weird way, I feel like I had the least amount of change this year compared to others. I had a pretty ordinary year, which is actually excellent. No major breakdowns or anything of that sort. Stayed pretty healthy--having ups and downs, of course. Overall, it was probably the most stable year I've had.

Last night, we were supposed to have people over to our apartment. Plans fell through, and it ended up being just Tammy, Laura, and me. We had a lot of fun. We played Scrabble Slam, toasted with one beer at midnight, ate lots of cheese dip, and watched a crazy movie. It was pretty quiet (minus my neighbors in the apartment above me blasting music and shouting). It was a very peaceful way to bring in the New Year. I wonder where I will be next year at this time.

For those of you who don't know, I am going to move into an assisted living home for nuns in the fall. They will house and feed me in exchange for me planning some activities for the sisters and filling in for an occasional dishwasher. I'm going to use this time to (hopefully) complete a solid first draft of a manuscript for my memoir. I have about 27 pages already completed. I am responsible for producing 50 more this semester in my ind. study class for the book project. If I can write every day like it's my job, I think completing a rough manuscript is a realistic goal. I had intended on staying with the sisters for the length of a school year (September-April or May). I do not know that I will be able to last that long without driving myself crazy. Every day is the same: breakfast, daily mass, lunch, dinner. Everything else is free time. It will be very important to establish a strict writing schedule, because it will be tempting to "tool around" as my friend Emily says. Not to mention, I can sleep all day. Sleeping is much easier than writing, and let's face it: I'm by nature looking for what's easiest. I will have to push pass the laziness and remind myself that writing will be my job. I will need to do it everyday. Although, I might allow myself to take Saturday and/or Sunday off each week.

My memoir will be about my struggle with both depression and spirituality. I have quite a few unique experiences that I think have given me different take on things. Maybe it's self-centered to think people want to read about my life or thoughts, but I know I like reading other people's memoirs. I think we can learn about ourselves through other people's struggles.

I think I need another medicine adjustment. I have been struggling to get by again lately. I think it's a combination of the fact that the doctor and I agreed to stop taking one of my medications, the stress of exams and then the holidays, and just a whole being burnt out phase. I'm feeling a little better since returning to school and with the optimism of a new year. I leave bright and early tomorrow morning (like 5am) to drive to Kentucky with Laura. She has a friend in Kentucky we will spend the day with, spend the night at his place, and then prepare for 11 more hours of driving to reach our final destination in Louisiana. I will fly home in a week. I hope everything goes okay. I will be thrown right back into school when I return, so I hope I get the medication thing sorted out. I don't want to feel defeated before I even begin my classes. This is my last semester, and I want to make the most of it.

It is gray and very windy here. It is snowing, and the flakes are flying horizontally in the wind. I am sad that this next semester two of my roommates will be gone, my friend Emily is moving home to Minnesota, and Laura will still be gone. That's the majority of my friends. Tammy will still be here, but she has to work a lot, so I will not get to see her as often as I would like. It will force me to really concentrate on my book, I think.

I want to say that my New Year's resolution is to blog more. I've already had several people request I keep a blog next year while with the nuns. I know how the semester gets, though, and how apathetic I can be when it comes to feeling like the world needs to know anything about me. I don't want to make a resolution I won't really work at. So I guess, if I blog more, cool. If not, nothing's new. You'll still get occasional updates :)