California

The last week has been a blur. At this time last week I was excited to be packing for California, only I wasn't packing. I was just thinking about it. I didn't actually pack until an hour before I left. It amazes me that I could have such a wonderful experience in such a short time. I can't believe it is over. It was such a perfect weekend, I would say it was border-line life changing. I have never felt the kind of support that I felt there on multiple levels.

First of all, to be surrounded by hundreds of people that are all just as concerned about poverty and spirituality as I am, was the most amazing feeling in the world. I have always felt like I have to defend my "craziness" for being so passionate about those two things. Then as struggle to explain, I would feel like people just weren't getting it. I still am undecided if it is that I cannot properly articulate my passion, or that they just do not understand. To be with people that don't even need an explanation, because they are doing the same type of thing, was an experience I had never had.

The small group of 6 of us, was a really interesting combination. We had a couple that had come from very different backgrounds, but we all came together so well. I didn't feel shy from the moment that I said hello to everyone. I think the thing is, that I am shy in large groups, but I usually do pretty well in small groups. It probably helped that the only guy on the trip, besides April's husband was belching and acting crazy right from the beginning, so I did not have to be concerned about making an idiot of myself. It was great to feel like I fit in so quickly in a group of strangers. With school, it hasn't been that easy. I felt loved and supported by the entire group, and that helped.

I cannot fully express the support and care that April and her husband demonstrated towards me. I still can't comprehend it. My relationship with April became much more real this weekend. I think we have always had a really powerful spiritual connection, but it was not a real relationship. We would meet for an hour or two and have great serious conversationd, but then we wouldn't see each other. We never saw eachother in an everyday environment. I think there was always this sense of mysticism for me. On this trip, she was able to see me in an everyday, goofy environment. We also were able to have some fantastic discussion about all of the different topics that the amazing speakers brought up. I have never been so honest and so supported when it comes to things that matter most to me. I had barely even talked to her husband, Evan before the trip, and he showed the same type of care that April shows me. They both really make me feel supported. I don't think that I am even beginning to express the beautiful way that they cared for me. Their patience with me still boggles my mind.

All of the speakers were incredible. Anne Lamott was just as fantastic as I expected her to be, which says a lot. I had very high expectations, and could have easily been dissapointed. She is truly the "prophetic voice" that they claim she is. I was able to get a picture with her. I joked that I wanted to marry her son, (she writes about him a lot, and he is about my age) so that she could be my mother-in-law. I guess, her son is having some drug problems. She was like "Do you do drugs," and I was giggling and said "no." She said in that case, she would tell him. She was very funny. It amazes me that she can be so funny, but still have so much power and intensity in what she says.

There was another speaker that has been to prison twice for her work for peace. She worked in Calcutta alongside Mother Theresa, and she was truly an amazing speaker. She talked about how she gets these gut feelings that she can't ignore. I got a gut feeling when she mentioned that, because that is all I do...ignore my gut feelings about my future. I have been fed that stability is more important than anything, which may be true. Being in debt, is never a good thing...but I just don't think I can go through life not working with this kind of peace stuff. It is hard to tell people that kind of thing, and not get stared blankly at, or even laughed at. They seem to think people who do all of this peace activist stuff, are not living in the real world. The truth is, the real world wants us to be numb to the suffering out there. They force feed us stories that don't matter, such as Britney Spears walking bare-foot in a gas station bathroom...disgusting, yes, but news worthy, no. The woman mentioned how, once you see the type of suffering in these places, you can't just go back to being numb and pretending it doesn't exist. I can't pretend this stuff doesn't exist. At the movie premier for "AMAZING GRACE," they talked about poverty being the new slavery. They were calling all of us to be abolitionist, and not just in a metaphorical way. They need us all to BE abolitionist.

School is pretty stressful right now. I am still adjusting to the new lifestyle. I think I am going clubbing tonight with my roommates and some friends, but not until after I hear Stephanie from Full House speak about overcoming her METH addiction. I attended my first meeting for my first club on campus, the World Peace Initiative (WPI). It seems like the perfect group for me. I am excited. Tonight I meet with my mentor from the Leadership Institute. I signed up for their "LEAD ME" program where I will meet with my mentor, who is just a sophomore regularly. She will help me get acclimated to the campus and help me get involved. Then, next year, I might get to be a mentor.

Well, that is all for now. I thought I was in desperate need to blog. It had been far too long.