What I meant by chaos

The title of my blog being"controlled chaos" here is a honest, chaotic entry. I am getting desperate since it is nearly 11 and I have a meet tomorrow. Everything is going just fine. I got payed today. Yay! Lisa Loeb concert October 11th.... I'm stoked! I conferenced in Ind. Study about my 21 page story that is still not complete. It seemed to go well. I am excited to write more about this piece. I am now going to post some random poetry. It is not quality, but it is honest writing practice I want to share with everyone. I swear I will have better posts next time. I am actually going to write down some topics to choose from instead of babbling. Oh and thanks for the support on the last post everyone. It really made my day.

I
I can't
I can't change
I can't change that
I can't change that I
I can't change that I don't
I can't change that I don't always
I can't change that I don't always follow
I can't change that I don't always follow directions.
I try to listen and not talk so much.
I try to listen and not talk so
I try to listen and not talk
I try to listen and not
I try to listen and
I try to listen
I try to
I try
I

I am running around in circles.
I don't know where the hell to go.
Do I even desire a finish line?
I just want to be free to run,
but I still need a trail to follow.

Random is scorned upon as thoughtless,

because it cannot be controlled.

I like to embrace my lack of control,

like when I sleep so peacefully

that I cannot control my dreams.

I dream of illogical things

Math is complicated

Relationships are complicated.

I. Hate. Puncutation! It? Always; screws with me:

I love writing. It always helps me sleep.

Individuality

It's been a fun weekend. I find myself sitting here discontent, though. I just don't get it. Everything is going fine. Just this morning I was thinking how fortunate I am. Everything has been going fairly well. Now I am sitting here obsessing about every silly little thing I screwed up this week. I realize every second of every day cannot be perfect. That's what makes the good stuff so exciting. How come I do and say things to prove I don't care what people think, then I obsess over what people are thinking about it? It is a foolish game I insist on playing. It's like people who play the lottery, they know they aren't going to win, but they pay the dollar for the hope it gives them. I guess I figure after I make an idiot out of myself in front of people so many times, I will get a little tougher and not care what they think. It doesn't seem to be working, but I keep trying.

I am sick of trying to be an individual. It's too much work. I guess I'm just the same as everyone else. We can't all stand out. There has to be the unoriginal people to make the original people look so original. To be original is to put yourself out there for criticism. I seem to be able to do that, but then I can't take the negativity. For example, I wrote this crappy piece about my bed in Independent study. It was just a writing practice and it was not exciting, just very descriptive. My bed was where I wanted to be, so I had no problem writing about it. I was using the bottom of that page to write what all I had to do this weekend down in Student Senate. One of the popular girls I have always been intimidated by, was secretly reading the piece over my shoulder while I wrote my list at the bottom.

"What's that for?" she asked politely, but I could tell she thought I was some crazy girl who writes crap, because that's what it was. I played it off and told her I was just making a schedule for the weekend, even though I knew she was asking about the writing.

"Oh I see. Nice," was her answer, but I know it was not genuine. She is probably thinking how stupid I am for writing in general, let alone such crap as she read. I know it shouldn't bother me, that she doesn't know I am in a writing class. Plus just because she doesn't understand the reasons for writing, doesn't mean I have to play dumb to them. I am really struggling with writing lately. I have some more to do for class. I get these ideas, but I can't follow through. I think it is this "fear" thing Natalie Goldberg addresses in her "Thunder and Lightening" book. I guess I am afraid of what I might write or who might see it. God, forbid I expose my weaknesses through writing. I think it's more of, I am aware of my weaknesses, but I don't want to write about them because they embarrass me. I will work on that, or I can just stick to writing comic pieces, those are always fun.

I have homework to do yet and I did have a nice weekend. Friday I went to dinner with friends, Saturday we had practice through the woods in the morning. It was very fun. Afterwards Sarah, Kristin, and I went to Cougar Cup. Then I went to Ann Arbor with the family to go to dinner. I couldn't have asked for a nice Saturday, but now I am paying the price today with all of the untouched homework.

Racin' Towards Satisfaction

I did it! I ran our home course today. It was amazing. Coach had warned us that our times would not be very good, because our course is one of the hardest in the state. It is very hilly, to say the least. I actually ended up beating my time from Saturday by well over a minute!! That is insane. I cannot explain it. It felt great. Well, at the end I wanted to puke as I exited the woods to finish the last quarter of a mile. I was truly exhausted. My legs, lungs, and stomach was burning. I really didn't think I was capable of running faster, but I heard the girl behind me catching me. I refused to let her pass me, because it took me over 2 miles to pass her. I sprinted as fast as my legs would allow. I wanted to collapse when I finished, but when I saw my time I was so excited. It was great. I felt so in shape and healthy. Our entire team got killed, our best runner taking 10th and then myself taking 13th. That means that in the top 15 at least it was all Monroe runners except Kayleigh and I. Everyone did so well though. In terms of personal reacords and all. I was really proud to watch all my teammates. It is such a cool sport. Everyone is just doing their best and encouraging each other. I love it.

Today went really well. Everything seemed to go my way. I love having days like that, but it always scares me. I usually have a really bad day to follow them. I hope tomorrow goes well.People can say karma isn't real, but it always seems to take course in my life. I have an English quiz on Paradise Lost. I am unsure how to study for it. I think I am going to go in in the morning to ask for help. I missed some of that class for C.C. today. Everything is going well, but I feel like Ihave a ton of homework I should do this weekend. It is weird. It all sneaks up on me. I have all this stuff I should be doing, but my curse of procrastination kills me. This weekend I am going to try to get back on track and even a little ahead.

Saturday I am supposed to go with a prayer group tp the Sand Dunes to swim and stuff. It sounds fun, but it is going to take my whole day. I was excited to have a weekend off from C.C. and work. I don't know if I will go for sure. There is a comedian going to be in town I wanted to catch as well. I just don't know. I wish all of my "Stress freee" time wasn't so stressful. Things have been going well overall though. Cross COuntry is really making me feel good about myself. I think I have been needing some kind of activity to boost my confidence. Tomorrow is Friday. I can't believe my first week of school is done. This year is going to fly by faster than a jetplane.

Not Stressin' About Stress

First I would like to warn I am going to be "bitching" for this entire entry. I am not a huge fan of the word "bitching" but I guess that's the best way to get my point across. The thing is... I have to write 3 pages of anything I want for my independent study class every night. Blogging counts, believe it or not. My teacher is cool like that. Here I am trying to find 3 pages out of a stressful day. I have no choice but to complain the entire time. Natalie Goldberg is a great author who writes about writing. She is constantly stressing about "just writing." She says it is okay to just take up space. She claims allowing yourself to write "crap" allows you to not have expectations for yourself every time you write. I am very guilty of sitting down and trying to write a masterpiece in one sitting. According to good ole' Natalie, I can sit here and write "I am an idiot. I hate writing. I actually like writing, but I have to high of expectations for myself. I get frustrated when my writing is poor. When I am forced to write every day, I have no choice but to write some crap." It is actually very freeing to write exactly what my thoughts are without worrying what people will think or if it is good enough. If you have never tried writing your exact unedited thought, I highly recommend it.
Tonight work went well. I had my favorite girl helping me and my boss was not there. This girl I work with from time to time is so wonderful. She helps me so much. I don't even get nervous around her when I mess up. The other people I am always nervous around. I find no reason to be nervous because she does not get upset when I screw up. She understands. I still am thinking about quitting, just because it is very overwhelming between school, cross country, and work. My first home meet is tomorrow. I am slightly dreading it, because I have been so exhausted and having really bad cramps. I never used to get cramps. Well, occasionally, but never very badly. I think all of the running is screwing my body up. The last 2 days I have had awful cramps, headaches, and back pain. It is not good to feel like that in a race. I made a run to Country Market after work for some Pamprin and Granola bars. That had to look desperate.

I had a ton more written that I just lost in trying to recover my post. Now they will never believe me that I had 3 pages, but oh well. I did. Plus I am sure you are all relieved to have me stop whining. I have a bed calling my name. I need to do my hair since I am dressing up tomorrow in my awesome new outfit. It's very laid back but dressy... if you can believe that. I am so pissed I lost half of my writing. I swear I had three pages and I promise I will write some higher quality stuff when Ihave time to think about it. I am just writing to get used to uneditting my thoughts. I am at this very moment, trying to reread and think of words worth writing, even though I am on a rediculous rant. I am trying to get rid of this stupid voice telling me everything I write sucks and that cares what everyone else will thing. I am writing this piece to let go of my own criticism and try to convince you all (mostly me) that I don't care anymore. I am not afraid to show my vulnerability through writing. I will write better things. Will I be brave enough to post actual writing that I put work into? I do not know. I hope so. I would like to show I am not a terrible writer. At this point I don't care if I look like a terrible writer. I am tired and I want to go to bed. Maybe that is good, because I really don't care about what I am writing. I am actually writing my exact thoughts. Ha. Fantastic. This might not make sense, but I feel free. I am so going to bed and I don't care that this is the longest entry about nothing. I am practicing writing honestly. So here I am. As real as I can be with my aching back, cramps, and wet hair, dreaming of sleeping. I am dreaming of dreams.

A new start

School has started. I am still working. I am also still contemplating quitting. My boss was not there last night, so I was unable to talk to him. Last night did go better though. Enough about work though, it has been controlling my life. My classes are going well. A.P. Bio is turing out to be a little more challenging than I expected. Of course I love my Independent study class with my favorite teacher and Caitlin. We have not really started writing we will do that soon. I had to fill out some paperwork so I could take the class. Then we all just talked about summer and I did my work rant. My teacher was talking about the Improv show in Ann Arbor and how she went to it. I was telling her how Iam dying to go to that when I turn 18. She said she would take me for my birthday. It's not until February, but I just love comedy people so I am excited.
Today at practice we ran our home course. It is soooo hard. He said to expect all of our times to suck because we have one of the hardest courses in the state. There are millions of hills and then a HUGE one we get to run up in the last mile. It's insane! It gives me an adrenaline rush though, but it takes all my energy. Everyone had interesting things to say on change. I enjoyed hearing them, because it is definately scary to approach all of the changes. It is also reassuring to hear about other people dealing with the same sort of stuff. I have homework to do, so I should get going. I get to work tomorrow after practice, then we have a meet THursday. I probably won't get to write until then. The Cross COuntry team is trying to come up with a cool saying or lyric for our shirts. We were thinking from the Bruce Springstein song "Baby, we're born to run" If anyone has any ideas... Let me know. Off to do the homework and rest my throbbing head.

Endings

Today I began thinking about endings. They say "every ending has a new beginning," but what if the new beginning is not as good? New beginnings are scary, but can be exciting. I just have such a hard time with change. "The only thing constant in the world is change" is a lyric from an India Arie song. I should think I would grow accustomed to change since it is the only thing that seems to be so reliable. As I approach applying for colleges and turning in to an adult, I can't help but still feel unprepared. I swear I'm still a kid, stop asking me what I want to do for the REST of my life. I can't make up my mind about what movie I want to rent one night, let alone what to do with myself. I am sick of hearing it's my choice. I don't know what I want. I just want to be me and let everything fall in to place, unfortunately I realize it does not work like that.

With the first day of my senior year, tomorrow, I feel so unprepared for anything. I know I am capable. I know I am not stupid. I know I can do SOMETHING. I just don't know what I can do yet. I am not immature. I understand people too much to be immature, but then when it comes to ending things I feel like a 3 year girl back at day care again, crying because I didn't get to wave at my mom out the window as she left that morning. The teachers try to comfort me and slow the tears that are dripping off my chin as snot runs all over my face. I don't feel embarassed at all. The teachers can't help. It's too late my mom is gone. There is no one to wave back because our brown car is gone. I hang out at the window and look at the grey sky. It seemed like such an awful day at the time.

I don't wave at my mom in the window anymore. It doesn't make me sad either. I don't know when it happened, but at some point it was not a big deal whether my mom waved at me as she drove away. I adjusted. It doesn't bother me anymore. I think I will just have to adjust to all of the new endings I am approaching. I guess new beginnings can be exciting.

Rough Night

Tonight work went awful. It was awful. I know I have complained a lot about work, but tonight takes the cake for bad nights. I screwed up so many little things again. Mostly I guess I am just to slow. I can't help it because I am so worried about screwing up and forgetting things, that I always double check everything. That is when I get yelled at. I came home bawling (not one of my most proud moments, crying over a minimum wage job) but I felt like the biggest loser ever. Honestly if I can't work a minimum wage job... what will I ever be able to do? Nothing like feeling like a moron in front of a ton of people.
I might not be able to perform the tasks well, but the people that come through the drive through seem to like me. I have made a few tips and received many smiles. Today one guy said he remembered me from last time he came in. I could tell he liked me because he asked me how I have been and etc... I like him as well. He is a friendly, care-free sort of guy, that is probably around 50. At least I know if I can't do anything, I can talk to people. That's not a bad skill to have.
Last night some of my best girlfriends came over to visit. It was a weird reminder of how we are all going different ways. I feel like they barely know me anymore. Maybe they feel like I don't k now them... I just don't know.
Practice went great today. We only ran 3 miles, but it was for time. Drew, Kristin, or Sarah wasn't there. Those are the girls that really push me. I was still able to push myself pretty hard. I pulled off a 24 minute 3 mile. I am not sure if that is good or bad, because Ihave never been a runner for time. I guess it doesn't matter, because I feel so good afterwards. It is one thing I do, where even though I won't place in races, I will still feel great just to run my best for a 5K race. With soccer I never feel good about myself unless I did something spectacular or we won. Tomorrow is an easy practice, since we have our meet Saturday. I am also taking my friend Kate out before she leaves for college. Plus Adam is coming home. Tomorrow should be a good day. It will definately pick me up from today. Well, what's left of me that needs to be picked up. I would say my parents and the hottub really helped pick me up a lot already.

Ya already know

Well, work still sucks. I wish I would stop forgetting stupid things like people's drinks. It is hard when there are so many orders. On a more positive note, we ran 4 miles today at practice. It was a killer work out. It sure feels great to know that I have ran 4 miles though. I must confess I was in the bathroom all day being sick. I think it was just the heat and work. I don't know. None the less I was sick. I don't have anything I have to do tonight. Well, I did tell my friend Cameron he could come over. He just got back for the Lakota Reservation I have traveled to with him. He brought me my shirt that I had bought last time, but I had to wait until my size came in. I am excited, because I was all dissapointed I couldn't go this time, but now I still have an awesome shirt, as if I did. He is dropping it off tonight, but he does not care that I am in my Pj's and look like a scrub. He's not into that stuff. It's a good thing too, because I am not dressing up for anyone tonight! Keep it real.

Ahh Freedom

Well, if I would have had time to blog yesterday I would have been complaining the whole time. It is probably better I did not have time. Yeterday was awful. I had to rush from an exhausting cross country practice and then be late for work. I hate rushing. I arrived at work just in time for the hectic lunch hour. I was all flustered from rushing to get there. I kept messing up everything! It was so humiliating. The owner was working with me the whole time and I just screwed everything up. I didn't get to sit down or eat my entire shift. I got home at close to 3pm. I walked in the door to find out my soccer coach called. I called him back before eating or sitting. I then found out I had to get in touch with the 2 other soccer captains. We were to divide up the 15 girls to call. Wouldn't ya know I couldn't get a hold of them. I ended up making all 15 calls on my own. We were all supposed to meet at the fair to park cars for a fundraiser at 5:30. Well at 5 I had gone through the entire list and only one other girl could do it. I called my coach back... it actually was a blessing in disguise because then he was like well, we will just do it tomorrow and Wednesday then! I was so relieved. I had a terrible tension headache, my legs were soar from practice, and my feet were killing me from standing up all day. I was quickly cheered up by my family. I think that is why I am so scared to go to college. In my experience friends have never been able to cure a bad day like my family. I always feel like I owe my friends something if they are to do something nice for me. As soon as the next argument comes they have something on you. My family all went to the fair. WE just wlaked around and got junk food. It was fantastic.
Today I do not have to work. I am getting ready to get in the hottub. I am extremely soar from practice today. I have been running so hard. I have finished second every thing we have done (Right behind the captain) It is exciting to excel at something, but now every time we run, I feel obliged to be second. If I am feeling terrible, I still don't want to be passed by anyone on the team. Foolish pride makes me kill my body. One of these days I might just have to give up the act and accept coming in third or fourth at practice. (Meets will be a completely different story...I won't even see close to second... No one on our team will) I must say after reading the encouraging comments on my blog. I feel like maybe things aren't so bad. Everyone has bad days right? I get to do the same thing tomorrow as in rushing to work from practice. Hopefully I will be a little better at work. It sucks to look like an idiot. Thanks for caring everyone. I really do appreciate it.

What Now?

I woke up this morning to an empty house. I knew my mom was at church, but I was not sure about the rest of the family. It turns out my dad was at the grocery store and my sister was still sleeping (I did not know this because she went to bed before 9pm and it was 10:30am.) She was exhausted from staying up all night the night before. She slept almost 14 hours! As I walked through the empty house I felt so lost. I have just one more week of summer. It is going to be packed with cross country practices at 9:30 am and working 11am-2:30. I also have to park cars for the soccer team one night. I am not complaining, I just don't know how the summer is done. I have not accomplished anything I had intended to. My room is a mess, I have half-read books, and one half finished painting. I had so much I was going to do this summer. Now with one full week ahead of me, I realize I have done nothing. I did enjoy it though, so that is important. I enjoy my time to do absolutely nothing. It's just this morning I had nothing planned, but I knew I had stuff to do. I just couldn't get myself to do them. It seems when I am blessed with free time, I never want to do anything. It just seems like all of my "free time" is gone. I have a meet for cross country this coming Saturday. I will not be ready for it, after only a week of official practices. Sunday we have a family reunion. The next Saturday I have two obligations that are overlapping. I am going to have to choose one. Plus I am going to have school, work and cross country all factoring in to it all. I am thankful to be busy and have things to do. I just hope it does not become too overwhelming to the point where I do not appreciate it all.
I went on a shoppin escapade with my mom and my little sister today. I stepped out of my fashion box a little, and shopping always makes everything better. I got a great athletic tank top for practice tomorrow, so even if a suck I will look cute haha. I am actually not that nervous for practices I am actually kind of excited. The meet next Saturday is a completely different story! I think I might pee my pants on that one! I am happy but overwhelmed with all of the new changes in my life. I swear I am not complaining though...life is good.

Relay for Life

I had the pleasure of attending our local Relay for Life for both days this year. It was such a lovely experience. I felt a genuine, beautiful type of saddness. I say it was beautiful, because of all of the good people I came across. Everyone has experienced so much, but there is so much hope there. I am haunted by the pessimistic view of society. I have been told I am an optimist, but sometimes I think I am more pessimistic than anything. I dwell on every imperfection from myself, my friends, and my family. I was reminded about love at Relay for Life. It was a night where I forgot every one of my friends imperfections, I didn't think about any of mine, and I felt nothing but love for my family. I walked around with such a variety of people. It was truly humbling.
I was heartbroken to see the husband of an old role-model of mine. His wife died of cancer and she was very active in Relay for Life. He still has a very hard time with it all, although it has been 2 years since she passed. I think I received 3 or 4 hugs from him and every time I felt a tingle deep in my bones. It is so hard to see someone so sad. I felt so proud to see my neighbor Jenny and my good friend Jordan walk the survivors lap. When they walked by and waved at me, I smiled so genuinely and proud. I truly admire the both of them and I feel such a deep sense of pride when they walk by wearing their medals. I don't know how I am lucky enough to know them.
Witnessing so many people crying, hugging, laughing was like a little taste of how things should be. I realize Relay is about raising money, but it just seems to be so much more than that. It isn't about religion or politics. There is just something very powerful about a real sense of caring. It is hard for me to truly express myself about such a bittersweet feeling.

Glamour

Today I felt rather sluggish. I have not done anything accomplishing. I went to the pick up my little sister's schedule for her. On the way I picked up the latest Glamour Magazine. I knew there was an article in there featuring the ladies of Saturday Night Live. They are definately role-models to me. They are so real and funny. They talk dirty, but when it comes down to their lives they are very modest, successful women. As I looked through the magazine it made me feel so unglamerous. It made me understand how many girls are insecure and feel the need to confrom to meet the expectations of society. Luckily, I do not feel like I am very influenced by all of this. Yes, I confess I do see things in magazines and on tv and thing "that is cute, I would like to wear that," but don't panick I don't plan to go out and buy a Paris Hilton skirt, as "hot" as it might be. (Pun intended) I had not realized what a sex magazine Glamour was. (I know very niave of me) I knew it would have lots of sex stuff, but it's the whole magazine. I loved the Saturday Night Live article. I would say Tina Fey and Amy Poehler offered the best sex tips... here's the quotes:

INTERVIEWER: "So, any sex tips for Glamour's readers?"
Tina Fey: "Make sure you don't laugh."
Amy Poehler: "Try not to barf."

I am going to leave you with those fantastic words of wisdom for today. I'm off to get around for Relay for Life.Sometimes I hate being around people. This is a shout out to Sailor Ashley who also complained of not wanting to talk to people sometimes. I feel that way sometimes as well, although it is probably not good to feel that way when you live in a small town and are planning on attending an even where you will be GUARANTEED to see every person you have ever known. Kisses all.

Clearing the Spider Thing Up

Okay... I just wanted to let you all know, that even though I hate spiders and mentioned how I was being so mean to one on my ceiling yesterday by cussing at it, I can show some sympathy towards them. For example: 2 days ago there was a spider on the wall of my shower and I was just jumping in. I went with my first reaction, that was to spray it with the shower head. It fell under the bath mat. I didn't want it to die in there, so I stopped the water so it could crawl out from underneath the bath mat. It slowly emmersed from the oceanic bath mat, only for me to spray it with the shower head again. This time I felt a slight bit of remorse since he had worked so hard to get out of the bath mat. Once again he ended up under the bath mat. I turned off the water and decided that if he survived this second blow, that he deserved to live. Well, sure enough he survived and came out even slower from the bath mat. The poor thing... he was hurting. I decided I would allow him to live, but I was unsure how this would happen. I was completely naked, contemplating what to do with this little guy, although he was not that little. I hate spiders, so I did not want to touch it in anyway. I grabbed a THICK piece of toilet paper and tried to pick it up with out squashing it. He then decided he need to escape and began crawling up the T.P. towards me. I would not put up with this, so I quickly grabbed the nearest dixie cup, placed him face down, using the T.P for a sort of "lid" if you will. I wrapped up in a towel and walked downstairs and let myself out side our back door. In only my towel I bent down to let this determined little guy go. Well, then he didn't want to get off the stupid T.P. I couldn't just leave this huge piece of T.P. in the yard, so after much shaking of the T.P. and nearly losing my towel, the little guy was gone. God Bless him somewhere, as long as he doesn't come back in my house!
So I just wanted to show you I can be a very loving person to spiders.

I just got back from a FANTASTIC run. (Yes another one, not the one I mentioned last night.) The one last night went pretty well too. We took frequent breaks though because of the heat. Us cross country girls decided to swing over on the swing set at a local elementary school we run by. The new shoes worked great, but today's run went even better. I ran 3.4 miles which is the furthest I have ran in a long time. I felt great. Well, I always get these stupid side aches in the beginning of every run... usually I can run through them and they fade. I had a case of that again, but it went away and I felt great! I have such a runners high right now. I feel so energized!
Work went better. The girl I worked with today was super sweet and patient. I only messed up once and then like a bloody idiot, I dropped a HUGE stack of napkins on the floor. I felt terrible. Luckily it was just her and after I apollogized for being such an idiot she was like "Oh your fine," that made me feel better. God bless patient people!
Tonight the fam is off to Jackson to pick up my little sister. She has been baby-sitting the week at my Uncle's in Lansing. I have enjoyed being an only child, but Relay for life is tomorrow and she will bring lots of enthusiasm to our family. The other night I painted a giant,white, cardboard, VW Beatle. It was adorable!
Oh and I would just like some feed back on this HUGE spider that was on my ceiling yesterday afternoon. It didn't have that big of a body, I mean it was decent and all, but it's legs were ENORMOUS!!!! I mean like at least as big as my hands, granted I don't have very big hands, but STILL!!! I told someone about it and they were like "was it a daddy long-leg?" I was like "No, Daddy long legs are not as big as my hands." So we are undecided on what the heck this spider was. Anyone experienced a spider like that? It was sick ass! I was totally cussing at it loudly b/c no one was home. Then I had to laugh at what an idiot I sounded like... Good times...Good times

I'm tryin' this crazy blog thing...

Well, after many times of dragging my feet to start a blog, I'm doin' it! I don't know who in their right mind will be reading this, but it sure seems like a good way to organize my thoughts. I am going to be taking an independent study class on creative writing. My teacher is always telling us how important it is to write, even if it sucks. This is the perfect place to write about stupid meaningless things. My inspiration came from my brother Groove Adam. I am not nearly as talented at expressing myself, but I gotta start somewhere. Be sure to check out his blog if you haven't yet. It's much more exciting.
Today I worked the fantastic "Lunch shift" at a local restaurant that gets insanely busy at Lunch time. I am still new there, so I have to feel like a total idiot while people wait patiently hoping you don't mess up their order because they know you are new. I am getting better, but I'm still the "new cashier" that no one wants to go to.
On a much better note, I got new running shoes for cross country today, and they are flippin' sweet! If I do say so myself. They are the perfect motivation to run tonight. I really didn't want to after standing on my feet all damn day... but now it's on! Be ready... I'm going to run like the wind tonight in my gray running shoes with metallic blue on the side. Just call me "Flash" for about 2 minutes, then I am going to be passed out dead tired. Well, I get to work the marvelous "Lunch Shift" tomorrow as well. Wish me luck. I will let you know how the run goes in my fabulous new running shoes.