Happy Thanksgiving

It feels fabulous to be sitting at home on a nice comfy couch. That is one thing I miss at school, comfy couches. I also miss good soft carpet. Just a few things I took for granted at home. Tonight I feel weird. I was so excited to be home. I went to Leslie's tonight and Kristin was there. I hadn't seen Kristin since August, and her brother even came over. He is home from New York. It was so great to be with them laughing again, but I felt like I needed to come home and see Adam and Ashlee (I knew my parent would be in bed). I came home early and Ashlee was sleeping and Adam was watching a movie, so I didn't want to interupt. The thing is, that now I am sitting here alone, and I feel bad that I left Leslie's so early. I just can't make enough time for everyone, not to mention I felt overwhelmed and needed some time to myself. I miss my friends a lot, though. It always makes me realize how much I miss them when I see them. I am finally establishing some more meaningful relatioinships ar Central though, and I am thankful for that.

I feel like the guy in "Garden State," as cliche as that may sound. He talks about how once you move out you miss home so much, but when you go home, it doesn't feel like home. I find that to be so true, and same thing with my relationships with people. I miss them so much and then you see them again and it isn't the same. It's like I am missing something that doesn't exist. It feels pretty empty where I am at right now, and maybe even a little numb.

My therapist left her job to practice wholistic medicine. I have not had a therapy session for two weeks. It is weird, because I am going to have to start all over and I don't know that I had made any progress yet from the first one. I am not very good at the whole therapy thing. I have this problem where I want everyone to like me, and I have to struggle with that with my therapist too. It's like I am supposed to tell him (my new therapist is a guy) all of the ugly evil stuff about myself that I don't tell people, but I want him to like me and not think I am crazy, so I sugar-coat everything...just like I do with everyone else in my life. Maybe getting a new therapist will help me start all over and I can just let him know that I am crazy right off the back, then I won't have to worry whether or not he thinks I am crazy haha...always an option, I guess.

I have been really intrigued by Bio humor lately. Yesterday, my friend called me a "wannabe Bio dork." I am not a real Bio dork, because I suck at Biology, but I find Biology people so interesting. They are so weird and unlike any other type of nerds. I love it. They amuse me so much. I sometimes wish I could just observe their everyday conversations (not their Bio ones, those bore the crap at out of me). For instance, today in lecture we watched a news clip from the seventies where they used dynamite to blow up a dead whale. I don't know why I found it so funny, but I was cracking up even though it was 9am and I didn't have any caffeine. It could have been the crazy people on camera's reaction or it could have been my Bio professor's excitement. He gets so excited about mollusks that it amazes me. I think one of the reason I love Bio nerds is because I love passionate people, and Bio people are so passionate. I guess you have to be passionate to get through a million classes as challenging as Bio. I know a lot of other passionate people, but I think it is interesting to me, because I do not like Bio at all, and I can't imagine being passionate about it, so to see all of these excited Bio dorks cracks me up. When I say "Bio dorks," I only mean it in the most flattering way of course.

I am excited for Thanksgiving tomorrow, but things are weird right now. I don't know what I want anymore, but I at least know I want turkey. I guess that's a start. Happy Thanksgiving everyone! Be thankful for friends, food, and family! I know I sure am!