Smart About Ignorance

The last two nights I have gone to informational discussions. Last night was a panel discussion about the Michigan economy. I knew two of the panelist. One was my former Sociology professor and the other one was an undergrad. who served in Iraq and is now a Political Science major. He went to Boston in the group I went with. He was socially crazy, but is very smart and a good person. Tonight I went to hear a Political Science professor speak about the post-election violence/genocide going on in Kenya. Another one of the guys from the Boston trip is actually from Kenya and he was in charge of getting this set up. I had heard good things about the professor, so I went even though I knew nothing about it except that people were dying in Kenya.

The Kenya one did not have a good turnout, because they did not advertise in time. Out of the few people there, I was one of two white people and the other one had lived in Africa. I think all of the others were from Africa, because all of the ones I heard talk had accents. I was clearly the most ignorant one in the room, but I think they were glad that I took an interest. A guy held the door for me, and then we realized we were going to the same place so after he introduced himself he asked me why I was there. I said, "I'm a friend of Daniel's, and I wanted to learn about this." He was like, "Oh so you just came to support Daniel?" When I answered "No, actually I came mostly to learn about this because I know NOTHING about it." He seemed surprise. He was like, "REALLY, Aimee?" He smiled when I said that I felt entirely ignorant about it and thought it was important to learn about. It made me realize how no one seems to take much notice of Africa. He seemed so surprised that I even cared. We look at it as one hopeless continent, when there are respectable places. The worst about Kenya's recent troubles is that they were supposed to "have their act together," but the professors said that was what the West wanted us to think, but if you looked closely corruption has been going on and we are just as involved.

I enjoy these type of things on campus. We have them pretty regularly. People complain, because we don't have big celebrities here often, but we have very smart and successful people speak here pretty regularly. Some of them teach here. I can't say that I walk away from some of them feeling like I could even participate in an argument about the issues, because often the things are over my head, but someone once told me how great it is to surround yourself with things over your head, because you pick it up quickly. I can at least say that I am not clueless about the issues and would get more out of such a discussion next time. I feel like there's all of these "free classes" that are these cool seminars and speakers. I don't know why more people don't go.

I love college, because as exhausting as it is I feel like I learn more and more by the week. I am learning so much about myself through my death and dying class. It is incredibly fascinating what a big part of life that death is and how we try to repress it all. My writing class is still so wonderful. We wrote three poems in class the other day. I don't know if you have tried to write three poems using difference techniques in a short time, but it's intense. I love it though. As dorky as it is, the class feels like a party. We are all so weird and nerdy and love to play with language and articulate things in weird unique ways. I was feeling inferior and bogged down, but I went to talk to my professor about my project. I had some things highlighted on a REALLY rough draft to ask her about. She offered to look over the whole thing. She was really supportive. She even seemed impressed/surprised at a few places. That made me feel better about everything, but I still feel inferior when we do all of these in-class/on the spot writing assignments and have to share stuff. Mine is always so bad, and I feel like everyone else is better. I guess, I'm used to that, though. I've never been a naturally gifted writer. In Independent study with two other girls, I would say I was the least naturally gifted. I had more passion though. Last I knew one stopped writing, and the other one was taking a break. I think I may have gotten better than them now. I suppose my writing class will require me to put more effort into it than other people, but when I do, I think I could stand out.

On a negative note, I think I failed my Shakespeare quiz this morning. That class is driving me mad. The professor is nice, but I just can't stand the reading and the specific questions on the quizzes. It makes me feel like I catch on so slow. I often feel like I catch on slow, but when I do catch on I'm golden. I remember in the past (especially Elementary and Middle school) people called me smart. I actually do not think I am that smart. I had a professor tell me I was intelligent last semester and I was surprised to hear it. He said I shouldn't believe him that I should prove it to myself with all of my work. I really am trying to do that. My Death and Dying teacher is incredibly smart. She does not give any exams or quizzes, yet her class is challenging me the most with reflections and discussion, because we really have to grasp the concepts. She checks our notes from reading as a part of our homework. She has us do the method of reading where you underline the subject in EVERY paragraph and then write a summary in the margin. It takes twice as long to read, but she said that it will make you seem so much smarter than everyone else. She told us we can learn to be smart. Some people think it's some natural gift, but it doesn't have to be. I catch on slow, but I'm determined. That is giving me more confidence to in my intelligence, and that is what college is about--finding confidence in our own intelligence. I still have a long way to go. I don't know where I got such an, "Inferiority Complex" as ms. eddy used to call it, but I am learning a lot and I can feel it. I hope that my confidence will continue to grow.

Tomorrow night is one of my friends 21st birthday. I haven't had an actual party to go to in a long time. I am looking forward to going out. Then it will be homework the rest of the weekend. Yay.