Activism

“A lot of people are waiting for Martin Luther King or Mahatma Gandhi to come back -- but they are gone. We are it. It is up to us. It is up to you.”--Marian Wright

I'm back. I went to my doctor today, and he decided to increase my medication slightly in hopes to reduce my depression. I am functioning, but still tired, apathetic, and depressed a lot. We are hoping that this final increase will make a difference. I'm doing better overall, though.

I watched a documentary called "The Cove." It was the first time I felt like a social activist again. It got me really fired up to make positive changes in the world. I was talking to my friend, Dashon, and we were talking about how vulnerable idealists are at our age. We either conform to society, destroy ourselves with chemicals, suicides, or self-doubt, or we fight. By fighting, I mean we stay alive. We believe in the good in humanity. We believe in love--even if we've seen too many examples of the opposite. If we can preserve our idealism, we are the people who can and will work to save the world.

I suppose idealists are "at risk" throughout life, regardless of age. It takes incredible strength, courage, and wisdom to remain idealistic enough to fight for positive changes when surrounded by so much apathy. What does emotional strength, courage, and wisdom mean to me? I use these words often, and I believe in seeking them with everything I have, but rarely to I get the chance to define them. I think we think of all of these extraordinary people, and decide we can't be like them, so we don't even try. Mother Theresa once said, "We can do no great things. Only small things with great love." I might not be another memorable leader in making positive changes in the world, but I will do what I can to leave this world better than I found it.

I was watching some Def Jam Poetry recently, and one of the poets said she believed she was strong for allowing herself to breakdown, crying puddles in her bathroom. She believed strength to mean being strong enough to fail and persevere, strong enough to breakdown, and strong enough to stand alone. Courage relates to this. One of my favorite quotes is something along the lines of, "Courage is doing what we are afraid of. There is no courage without fear." I like that because it acknowledges that being afraid does not make us weak. As for wisdom, I believe it to be the ability to listen, admit our ignorance, and accept gray areas.

I also watched a documentary on a woman who was a secretary for Hitler. She talked about Hitler the man, and it was weird. She talked about him being so proud of his dog, having a lot of digestion problems, not liking to be touched etc... I felt afraid to see the human in Hitler. I am horrified of hate and the result of hate. He was such a hateful person, does it mean I am doing something wrong by thinking of him as human? I can't answer that at this moment, but I believe remembering that the world doesn't function in black and white is helpful, and every day I work to achieve acceptance of such gray areas, which I believe to require wisdom.

I seek wisdom, courage, strength, integrity, and growth. These are the traits I value most. I believe the more I practice such traits, the more positive changes I will be able to make in the world.