Dreamin' of the Future

I've been talking to a lot of people about graduate school. If I can get funding, I will stay here at Central--and chances are, I'll get funding. This would allow me two years to remain in an academic environment, write under professors, and mature a bit before moving out of state. I want to use the material from my portfolio toward a book. A book takes more than two years to write, so I plan to work hard on the book as a part of my graduate thesis here, and then get into an MFA program (which by then, I could hopefully get into either a really competitive school or get funding at another) where I could polish up the book and prepare to send out to editors.

I already paid the $75 application fee at U-AZ, so I will still apply there, and if I get funding, I would consider going. However, the chances of me getting both accepted and funding at the young age of 23 (I'll be 23 by then) is rare. Plus, even if I rush into an MFA program, everyone talks about the tough slap in the face after those two years. One professor said, "Every writer has to pay his or her time. It just depends on whether you want to wait tables and write on the side or stay in school and write." I think I'd rather stay in school, as romantic as waiting tables in New York, struggling to pay the rent sounds.

Today two boys in my poetry class told me I looked nice. The one is a bit flamboyant and said, "OH you look nice today," and the other one is a big guy with long hair, a beard, and tattoos all up his arm, and he said, "I was thinking the same thing." This was especially a compliment because I was not wearing any make-up. Plus, I had my glasses on. I feel most "me" when I have my glasses and no make-up on. I felt like they were saying the real me is beautiful. It mean a lot. I was dressed decent and had one of my hippie headbands in with my hair scrunched, but it was a very low-maintenced day. I've been so tired all the time, it's hard to get motivated to look nice, when all I do is contemplate when my next nap is. I'm at work, and my shift is almost up, so I'm out :)