I Live and I Learn

I am listening to this song I just discovered by the Cardigans called "I live and I learn." I discovered it, because it was on Grey's Anatomy. I am really enjoying it. I don't even know what type of genre it would be. I just like the lyrics a lot. I recommend it. Not that anyone will listen to it, but just so you can say you have heard of it. I also have been really enjoying this Jimmy Buffet and Martina McBride song "Trip Around the Sun." I don't know why I am insisting on telling my current taste in music. The thing is, both of these songs are not really new. I just have been enjoying them, because they fit my mood.

I had a really nice day. I am exhausted though, I am contemplating going to bed, but my friends wanted to hang out again really late tonight. They were going to call me after 11 (It is 11:30 right now). I am kind of thinking bed sounds more desirable right now. We had marching practice for graduation this morning. It is starting to hit me that school is over. We did our class awards, and I was so thankful to receive as many as I did. I almost feel arrogant if I enclose the ones that I won, because most of them were a total surprise. I received four, and some people did not receive any...That made me kind of sad. I received Best Friend, Best Personality, Most Polite, and Class Angel. I feel guilty that I received class angel, because there are so many other girls in our class who are these quiet, sweet, perfect, religious girls. I am definitely not an angel. I was like "wow, my class does not know me very well." It was VERY flattering though. I seriously can't believe people feel I deserved all of those awards. It is totally mind boggling to me. I was just hoping to get most polite, because several people told me they put me down for that. I didn't even consider the other ones.

We had a soccer game today. I feel that I played one of my better games. I almost scored in the beginning of the game. I told Mr. Hanosh I was bitter that I didn't. He told me to do it again. I agreed, not believing I could actually get a goal, but I did! It was a perfect pass from Kristin, so I cannot take all of the credit. I was just so excited to have been so confident for once and been able to follow through. Last year I would never have felt any confidence, let alone actually scored. It is amazing how confidence and happiness is influencing my game. I truly love the game again. I had lost that for a while. I think I have improved at just shaking off the bad stuff, where I used to dwell on it. I have realized it is just a game, and in return it has become something that I love doing. I know I am going to miss it so much.

I had to rush from the game in Bedford to Siena Heights for our Honors Night. I received a scholarship that I did not know about and was confirmed a salutatorian. I hope this means I get that extra scholarship from Central now. My mom's mother came along with my dad's mother and brother. My surrogate grandparents (Bob and Elaine) came as well. I felt so good to have such a wonderful support system there with me. Afterwards we went for dinner/dessert at Applebees. It was a nice relaxing dinner and the perfect way to end my good day.

Things have been really getting better for me. I just feel like after going through a rough period, that things are starting to clear up for me. It almost seems to good to be true, and I kind of worry what is in store for me. I just need to take it one day at a time and be thankful for this pleasant break from reality. It is a great way to wrap up high school. It is making me realize that I might miss everything though. At the same time, I am beginning to feel the excitement my friends are all feeling about us splitting up to meet new people. It is scary. I might be calling them a few lonely nights, but at the same time we will all be expanding outside of this comfort zone. I think it will make it so that we have a lot more to offer to one another when we return, friendship-wise anyway.

So much else has been going on. I have been hanging out with my friends a lot to celebrate the end of school. I had a great last day of school on Tuesday. I have been playing a lot of soccer and procrastinating more than ever. Leslie's 18th birthday is tomorrow and we are going to Toledo with her older sister. It is a pretty big group of girls. I think it should be fun. I am also excited to sleep in with no alarm to wake up, for the first time in a while tomorrow.