Miss

I have done countless mock blog entries over the days, only to decide I didn't want to post any of them. Things have been crazy. Crazy in the sense, that my life seems to contradict itself daily. I couldn't think of a title, so all that was coming in to my head is the voice of the kids from my class that consistently call me "Miss" at all times. All day I hear "Miss" "but, Miss" and an occasional "Teacher" or "Maestra."

I have come to the conclusion that I plan to seek therapy when I get to college to work on my irrational panicking, guilt, and nervousness. They all seem to tie together, so I think with some work, I could fix things.

I watched the documentaries about the evil in religion with GrooveAdam. I was glad that I watched them, because I agree with most all of it. I did think that there was an arrogance about the narrators tone, and that he made too broad of generalizations about groups of religions. He did a great job of talking to a variety of religious leaders, but I still do not feel like he captured the positive aspects of faith accurately. That is understandable, considering his documentary was strictly on the negative aspects. I just feel that it is important to keep in mind, the fact that it is like any persuasive piece of art, it is the manipulation and rearrangement of facts to prove the creators point. It was well done and smart, but I just feel like I wasn't getting the full story. I also get that same type of feeling as I am reading my Jim Wallis book, "God's Politics." Jim Wallis is very smart and has some great facts, and I like the way he integrates faith and morality with politics. I also think he has that same type of necessary arrogance that Richard Dawkins has to persuade people. Faith is not something I can force people to understand or approve of, but I am still working on what works for me. I also think that there is a desire for spiritual connections in all human beings. That is why atheists desire affirmation from other atheists, that is why religions are formed, and that is why I have the desire to write and talk about faith with anyone and everyone, even when I feel like I have no faith. I think it comes down to being understood in the deepest sort of way possible. Religion offers different languages for people to be understood. I don't think it is a matter of if religion is right or wrong, but more of a way to express our deepest concerns while self-evaluating constantly. I think it is a way to stay humble. I agree that using religion to diminish others and rationalize poor political ideology is wrong. I also think that if atheism is the way that people feel they can best express their need for the deep connections and keep the peace, then it is just as noble as any faith. The trick about religion, atheism, or any other label is keeping compassion for the other group. Atheism is not "the only truth," as some may claim, just as Christianity, Islam, Judaism, or any other religions are not the only truth, despite what the fundamentalist claim. To be honest, I don't know how I feel about Religion. Some days I believe in God, and I like it. Other days, I don't believe in "THE God." Those days are okay too, because they force me to seek spiritual affirmation from people just the same. The only thing I do know, is that I like spirituality. I also think religion can be beautiful when treated with humility, compassion, and caution. I also know that religion can give a false sense of self-righteousness, so I guess it is probably a good thing that I have these spiritual contradictions, because it keeps me thinking and seeking spiritual connections on a daily basis. I think that is what spirituality is supposed to be...never being satisfied with your faults and always striving for moral perfection, but showing mercy to yourself when you really need it. I am working hard on this. It is much easier said than done.