Reflection: Balance, Moderation, and Centeredness

Today I listened to a Speaking of Faith Episode that was played a few weeks ago, which is a replay from last year. It is titled “Stress and Balance Within.” I hadn’t thought much about balance on the spiritual level until this year. This summer it has been one of my main topics to reflect on along with being centered and moderation. I had never even heard of balance on a spiritual level or thought about being centered and using moderation with everything, but this year it seems everyone that I talk about spirituality with brought these essential topics up at some point, if not multiple times. When I was doing a career counseling activity with someone I know who is trying to get a masters in counseling, he picked up on my lack of balance. When he suggested I think about teaching, because of my love for kids I responded with two reasons why I didn’t want to teach. My first reason was that I thought the track to teaching was much too straight forward for my indecisive ways. Secondly I told him that I did not want to lose my love for kids by getting burned out. I enjoy the six-week program I work in every summer, because right around the time I feel drained from the kids it’s already the last week or two of school and then I appreciate them again, because I realize I won’t see them for a long time.

His response was that he understood from the forms and questionnaires I filled out that one of my “career anchors” (Something that is necessary in a career for me to be happy) was “lifestyle.” He explained that means that I will have to have a career that goes with my lifestyle and not lifestyle based on my career, but he also questioned me about having commitment issues (if he only knew). He also expressed concern at my second reason. He asked if I get burned out, because I do not have the proper training to teach. I responded with how busy my mom always is and he decided that I have balance issues. I began reflecting on my current lifestyle and I realized my entire family has issues with balance. My mom has problems balancing work and her life so I feel that while the students benefit from this, her health suffers either physically or mentally. My dad has problems balancing money…not in the literal sense. He balances a checkbook fabulously. I mean that he saves and complains about how tight money is, but then splurges…only to stay up all night worrying about it and growing angry at the way the rest of us spend money. I am not blaming my balance issues on my parents, but the aspiring counselor thought that I had never properly learned balance. I also think about my siblings’ lifestyles in contrast with my own, and although we are all very different I do not see much balance from any of us.

Dr. Esther Sternberg spoke on this podcast of Speaking of Faith. She works on the mind-body connection from a molecular level by looking at genes, hormones, and neurotransmitters. She is using science to show the connection between emotions and health. She talks about how vacations are not a luxury, but a necessity. As a society we do not encourage balance. Cell phones are almost a necessity and weekends are rarely times of rest these days, to name a few examples of our off-centered lifestyles. Not to mention the way people look at me like I am crazy when I mention taking a night to reflect alone. It’s like Adam (the atheist) said when we were talking about the way people do not understand introverts. When you tell someone you want to spend some time alone they take it personally and are confused like, “So do you just wanna take a shit or what more do you need to do alone?”

I learned the hard way what ignoring myself for the sake of others does to a person and this podcast only confirmed the need for balance in my life. The fact that my imbalance was just illuminated by someone else this week makes me feel confident about all of the time I have been spending as a hermit. I think everyone should take some time to really think things through.