Just a Quick Update

This is just an update. Not really any reflection like I usually like to offer. I needed to update my blog, though.

Still working hard to stay healthy/get healthy. I've had a few mistakes here and there, but I'm doing pretty well. Still not feeling great. My therapist said the feelings are the last thing to change. Sometimes I catch myself getting depressed about being depressed, which is one thing they really made sure to steer me away from at partial. That is what causes me to start feeling hopeless--if I start thinking about how hard I'm working, yet I still feel poorly, or the fact that I've had two major depressive episodes in three years. Lately, I've been really down about having to quit work. I like my job. It gives me confidence. I'm getting to be pretty good at it. I just don't have the energy for it, which just serves as a reminder that depression is still ruining aspects of my life even though I'm trying so hard.

I'm going home this weekend to get a tattoo. It will be a bracelet with the words "Wisdom. Courage. Growth." I want it to be a reminder that I survived such hardship. I get down on myself a lot for having to go through all of this. I hope the tattoo will be a positive reminder to focus on all of the work I've done and how far I've come. Maybe that will stop me from focusing on how hard I've worked and what hasn't happened.

I am not feeling very creative right now. I'm supposed to be writing a creative essay, which I love. I just don't feel like I can live up to my full potential right now. I'm going to write through this brick wall, though.