Friday, February 11, 2011

Famous Blue Raincoat

I'm sitting in lisa's music room, listening to her and Nick play live music. I love the power of smooth live music. It has a power to take me to different parts of my mind. Earlier tonight, they played Leonard Cohen's "Famous Blue Raincoat." I forget what a beautiful songwriter he is. A lot of people don't even know he is the orignal "Hallelujah" writer, because Jeff Buckley's cover took off so much. I admit I like Buckley's version better, but the fact that Cohen wrote the lyrics and his sounds more Church-like is worthy of upmost respect. What a creative soul.

Right now, they are playing a Gillian Welch song "Revelator." They picked up the pace a bit, and I like it. I'm supposed to be wrapping up my second chapter of my memoir, but I keep staring at the screen. I'm not sure how to wrap up something so complicated. Instead, I asked lisa for her internet code, which I knew was a bad idea because I already went on facebook, email, and now I'm blogging. Although, blogging is better than staring at the screen. I'm at least translating thoughts into sentences. I suppose that's something.

Today, I went back to my high school to watch Ashlee walk on Winterfest Court. I'd been to the gym/auditorium area for other events Ashlee has been in, but today was the first time I went back into the actual school section. It was such a weird flashback. It had been five years since I walked those hallways. James is now a teacher amongst teachers who taught me. It was weird to see how small the high schoolers are. I mean, high school seems so big, so adult-like. I'd never go back to it. I saw former teachers, coaches, and counselors. They were all stoked to hear about my book project. It was weird telling them it was about struggling with mental health and spirituality, because I realized they don't know anything about my mental health or spiritual journeys. It's strange for me to think I've now been in college longer than I was in High School. College has gone so much faster--been so much less oppressive. I will be 23 this month. That's my favorite number (back from my soccer playing days). I hope that means I have a good year in store. Maybe I'll finish my book.

It's nice to be at home. I went out to lunch today with Mom and we had good conversation, which we don't get to do often. Dad and I shared some chai tea after dinner, and I'm also enjoying catching up with lisa and Nick. Tomorrow, I'm supposed to even see the famous Adam D. I can't wait. I haven't seen him in far, far too long. He's the kind of friend where when we're together, we're the best of friends, but when we are apart, we lose all contact. I have no idea what's been going on in his life since September, and he knows next to nothing about mine. He's heard about the nun thing through the grapevine, but I am looking forward to talking to him about it tomorrow. I'm looking forward to a big hug from him too.

Tomorrow, I'm going with Ashlee to get her tattoo. I'm going to ask about how and when can I get mine touched up. The purple is faded on the bottom side. It doesn't bother me much, because I don't really ever see that side of my wrist. Just for when people ask about it, though, it will be nice to have it bright all the way around. Then, in the evening is the ceremony where they crown the Winterfest king and queen. I don't know if Ashlee will win, but I hope she's not too concerned about it. Popularity in high school does not amount to anything in real life. In fact, I'd say most of my friends now were not popular in high school. I think most of my friends were too ahead of their time and cool for high school. I wish I would have been one of those kids, but I survived it all eventually.

Enjoy some beautiful lyrics!

Famous Blue Raincoat by Leonard Cohen
It's four in the morning, the end of December
I'm writing you now just to see if you're better
New York is cold, but I like where I'm living
There's music on Clinton Street all through the evening.

I hear that you're building your little house deep in the desert
You're living for nothing now, I hope you're keeping some kind of record.

Yes, and Jane came by with a lock of your hair
She said that you gave it to her
That night that you planned to go clear
Did you ever go clear?

Ah, the last time we saw you you looked so much older
Your famous blue raincoat was torn at the shoulder
You'd been to the station to meet every train
And you came home without Lili Marlene

And you treated my woman to a flake of your life
And when she came back she was nobody's wife.

Well I see you there with the rose in your teeth
One more thin gypsy thief
Well I see Jane's awake --

She sends her regards.
And what can I tell you my brother, my killer
What can I possibly say?
I guess that I miss you, I guess I forgive you
I'm glad you stood in my way.

If you ever come by here, for Jane or for me
Your enemy is sleeping, and his woman is free.

Yes, and thanks, for the trouble you took from her eyes
I thought it was there for good so I never tried.

And Jane came by with a lock of your hair
She said that you gave it to her
That night that you planned to go clear

-- Sincerely, L. Cohen

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