Float On

"Alright, already, we'll all float on. Alright, don't worry, even if things end up a bit too heavy, we'll all float on."-Modest Mouse

I am sore this morning. I don't know why. I might go rollerblading after this. Rollerblading is apparently not a proper word. Every time I spell it, there is a red line under it. I even try it as two words, but it still fails. I guess it has to be rollerblade. It underlines it when I put an "s" on the end, too. That is so weird. I should take that question to a linguist professor I'm facebook friends with. My English club was trying to organize a panel where we had a linguist, a literature prof., and a creative writing prof. too let them duke it out over language.

I have felt worse the past couple of weeks, but overall they have been decent. I spent a couple of nights with some of my best friends from high school. It was so nice to be able to catch up on each other's lives and just lounge around together. Even grocery shopping was fun. We got one of those newer carts for kids where there is a seat/bench sort of thing in between the bar you push the cart with and the actual cart. We took turns sitting in the chair and getting pushed through the isles. Dash was dancing in the isles, and Dawn and Kristin kept making sick faces and using gross voices. I was laughing a good portion of the time.

Last night, I went to a gathering with some of the people from the S. Dakota trips. We drew medicine cards again. This time I drew a jaguar. I guess that represents integrity, and it talked about the importance of staying humble and what an amazing trait forgiveness is. I certainly have some forgiving to do, but I also think that I should stand up for myself for once in my life--I almost see that as part of my integrity, because I really believe in standing up for myself in a respectful way.

I'm very nervous about returning to school. I have a lot of work to make up, and I have had one hell of a time getting an appointment with my psychiatrist and a therapist. I think today I am going to try to call the psychologist I saw a few times my freshman year. I even considered going back to partial this week because that would ease my transition back and allow me to see my psychiatrist on Friday. I don't know if I am really in the kind of shape that could require going to partial. I worry that I am not that bad, and I don't want to be depending on resources that I don't really need. It's tricky because I am not yet needing a program like partial, but I start classes a week from today, and I don't want to continue to get worse and then decide I need more extreme treatment once classes start. I don't know if I can go to partial as more of a preventative step. I probably should call them.