Flashback

I had a bad day. Nothing too major, but I just felt bad. I realize bad is such an undescriptive word, but I think the word depressed is parallel to it. My logic is that feeling bad can be sad, angry, lonely, guilty, insuperior or any other emotion that is not pleasurable. Depression feels like all of that at the same time. It is so overwhelming that there is not a clear-cut word to describe it. A vague word like bad seems to do the trick. I didn't have any major reasons to feel bad, but I did. I am now up trying to keep one of my friends company who is feeling depressed again so she can't sleep. Being alone while experiencing insomnia as a result of depression is never a good thing. She forgot to take her medicine for five days (I am not sure how that happened). She also has been having miscellaneous situations that leave her feeling down, so tonight she feels like she is back to where she started with the depression. It is frustrating to me to see this, because I know so many people that feel that way. It makes me wonder if one can ever completely heal from depression. I know that I am better. I feel like anyone can tell I am better who would have saw me when I was depressed. When I have bad days it makes me remember how bad I felt everyday, and the scary hopelessness comes back to the point where I feel like I never really got better and that I never will. My friend is having one of those nights, and it makes me feel bad again since I didn't have the best day either. We were wondering if that curse of jumping to the worst conclusion after a bad day goes away. Will we always have to remember what it feels like to be depressed? Will we ever have total relief or have we been cursed with sickness that never gets better? It can be controlled, but not cured. I am thankful for my progression, but I am also sad that one of my other close friends is still very depressed. He can't seem to get the help he needs, and I can not help it except for the fact that I can listen and empathize when most people can't. These flashbacks are killers, but I am glad they are merely flashbacks and not an everyday life that I have to fight to survive. I just want the best for my friends and family, and I hate seeing them want to give up. I hate even more that I know why they feel that way. I dream that my flashbacks will vanish and my friends and I will never have to think about depression again.