I'm Back

My cord finally came in the mail. It is wonderful to be back on my computer. I felt lost without it for multiple reasons, but I think the biggest was probably because all of my writing is on here. I write in a notebook too, but my notebook is, generally, for freewrites. I've been writing meaningless entries just to keep writing, but it was horrible. It took me over an hour just to write four pages in my notebook this morning. That's unacceptable. Writing is one of the most frustrating things I do sometimes.

I have such high expectations for my writing this summer, which might not be good, because it only leads to disappointment. I told myself if my writing went well this summer, I would drop my writing class for the Fall. I'm signed up for 19 credits, and I worry about it a lot. However, if I am successful, I will be able to take a writing class every semester I have left (despite that I only need three more), and I will get out in four years. It seems like I have so much to gain. I am signed up for a poetry class with a poet who is starting to get into essays (so maybe I might be able to get a little help on essays).  Then, even though I really don't like fiction, I figured I would take a fiction class in the Spring. That would really diversify and strengthen my writing so that I could just focus on writing essays my last two semesters of my senior year, which supposedly will be possible, because they are supposed to hire an essayist after this year. My former advisor/professor gave me a name to contact so I can have a say in which essayist they choose. However, if I'm taking 19 credits, on the e-board for two RSO's, and working, I don't know if I will have time to attend all of the readings. I would really like to, though.  My other option, is drop my psych class and just try to take a summer course. I worry it won't work out, though, and I'd hate to have to come back another semester just for one course. I know my next four semesters of Spanish are going to be hard, so I am well aware that this first semester of it will be the only tolerable one. Therefore, it's the last semester I will be able to really push myself without failing Spanish. I, kind of, feel obliged to push myself while I still can. I could give up the writing class, but that's what I'm going to school for. I want to take advantage of being able to take a course with published authors every semester I have left. I want to be the best writer I can before I'm forced to go off to grad school or get a real job. I hope I can get into a good grad school. I want to go to one where I can teach so I don't have to pay for classes. That's super competitive, though. All I can do is hope I'm a killer writer by then and lots of schools will want me to write under them.

I was also stoked about getting my cord so I could finally buy the new Death Cab album. I'm listening to it right now. So far I like what I hear. They always inspire me creatively. I love writing while listening to them. They are soothing and simple, but not in the annoying pop music way. Their lyrics actually have meaning (they aren't about clubbing or dancing--sorry Britney Spears).

I've been stuck inside for days because of my sickness. I feel so cooped up and useless. I want to start running again. I might be well enough to start tomorrow. Maybe I'll start rollerblading in the mornings instead (if it stops raining). I did go rollerblading for a little bit last night. It totally wore me out. I feel like I'm 70-years-old.

This entry got way longer than I intended. I'm just so happy to have my computer back that I couldn't stop typing. I'm out.