What's my problem?

What is my deal? I am very confused. I had my first date in almost 3 years on Saturday. I didn't blog about it, because it was a secret. A friend of mine who reads my blogs (Maybe I should say USED to read them) has been interested in me for a long time now. I have always said I was not interested in a relationship before college. It was not a lie, I really believed that. I met a friend of his and I realized I was interested in his friend. His friend asked me for a date... I agreed. It is nothing personal against the other guy, but I didn't want to play around with our friendship (mainly because Iam so indecisive).

The date went pretty well. The guy was very sweet. He is a singer in a band and really easy to talk to. He tried to be all romantic. We danced in the parking garage, which is by FAR the geekiest thing I have ever done. He did and said everything right, but when I got home I was like "wow I don't think I like him anymore". I have come to the conclusion that I thought I wanted a relationship, but I do not. I just worry that I am being to picky. All of my friends get furious with my excuses for why I do not like certain guys. I guess I just haven't met anyone that makes me all nervous and excited like my old boyfriend used to. I am not saying that my old boyfriend was that special or anything, I just was naive enough to fall hard for him. I find it hard to fall for people that I don't want to take the risk on. I figure if they are special enough I will gladly take the risk.

Now I have screwed everything up. I explained my indecisiveness to my date... This was the day after our date. He was nice, but confused. He wants to know more about it, but I can't bring myself to talk to him about it. I need more time to think. I don't want to date him just because I feel bad for leading him on. I thought I liked him. At the same time my other friends think I am just so set on being single that I am not giving him a fair chance. I went on a fricken date with the kid... I told him I liked him and we acted like a couple for the night (take that however you want). What more do I need to do to give him a chance? Also he told our friend Austin that we went on a date. Austin has now deleted all of the comments he had left me on my blog and disbanned his blog. He avoided me all day at school. He has not even let me explain my side of the story. I did not lie to him. I told him exactly how I felt. Plus I am not his property I do not owe him anything. (Or this is what I have been told, although I still feel like I did something wrong). I have been very nice to him. I feel bad that he is so hurt by me going out once with his friend, but I can't live my life according to what everyone else wants. Plus everyone else wanted me to go on a damn date. My brother said to me "I was beginning to wonder if you liked girls" Yes it has been that long since I have had a date that people think I am gay. I definately deserved a date, even if it wasn't a person I was interested in a relationship with. I am allowed to have a little fun sometimes. It seems like no on else can understand that... Maybe I am the one that can't understand it. I always feel so damn bad about everything. This whole giving the date a chance thing wasn't even me, it was all of my friends saying I needed to forget about hurting people's feelings and just go on a fricken date. I did it. It was overrated. I like the guy he's great. I mean who doesn't like singers in bands? I just don't think I am interested in him in that way.

I am going to tell him we can still hang out, but only as friends. I don't want to just let him down cold. Plus I guess I havent' given him a big enough chance yet. I don't know what the heck my problem is, but I can't seem to know what I want.